Birthday and Ong Bak 2

Welp, birthday came and passed without fail can now officially say I am 21 years old (and / or one day older than yesterday) WOOOOO. Unfortunately I didn't get nearly enough money to deal with my computer problems so I'm still weighing my options on that front but hey blogging with text isn't so bad. Went out had a nice dinner with my family good food and a good time outside of some of my father's outbursts of headdeskery proportion. I got some nice shirts, a bit of money, a Dave and Busters gift card, and as is custom with my family the standard fare of gag gifts including a pair of Squirrel Underpants

but a nice evening was had and at the end of the day I went back to my mom and bro's place for a bit and watched a movie on demand. This is a movie I have been looking forward to for quite some time.

Ong Bak 2

I loved Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong Tony Jaa is a beast I personally believe he is the next big face in the action martial arts genre like Jet Li or Jackie Chan before him. The man is a masterful gymnast it's like gravity doesn't affect him the same way it does anyone else. And just some of the things the man can do in a shot is amazing. The Chase Scene from Ong Bak was increadable especially when you consider that no wires or special effects were used to augment any of the action in that movie. Also Tom Yum Goong had some of the best fight choreography (group mainly but one on one was good aswell) I have seen in a long while namely the one shot fight scene as Tony Jaa is working his way up a building fighting his way past about 25-50 guys in one continuous 6 minute shot. Anyone who knows something about film making must know how hard a flawless 6 minute shot would be to obtain let alone one with so many variables.

Unfortunately Ong Bak 2 could not live up to either of those films. I had my doubts when I first heard Tony Jaa was going to be directing and choreographing this film himself. The man is an awesome star for these kinds of movies but behind the camera I just wasn't feeling it. All the hard hitting blows and long shots I loved in Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong were replaced with flash cuts and choreography that was showy but not flourished. It just felt like there was no real soul in it. The movie made me feel like I was just watching a series of scenes rather than a film it just felt lifeless.

This could be due to the Story or lack there of. It wasn't until about 40 minutes into the movie when I started to see a real hint of a plot. Basically Tony Jaa is the orphanned son of a noble family in ancient Thialand. He ends up getting picked up by slavers and eventually saved by a group of bandits, he is trained in standard mantage format and then tested and I kid you not, his first test involved running on a herd of Elephants and then smacking the "Alpha Elephant" on the skull to prove his utter superiority... something tells me a scene like that wouldn't have flown in the states. He then becomes the leader of the raiding parties and from that point on for about 20 to 30 minutes it's just a series of raids and fights that just seem to be there for no reason other than to show Tony Jaa and crew wrecking people.

*The Following Paragraph Contains Spoilers Skip Past If You Don't Want Them*

Eventually we learn that his family was killed by another noble while Tony's character (Tien) was sent off to dance school. The Dance school which by the way lead to a series of boring scenes which proved to do nothing but introduce a young girl whom we assume to be some sort of love interest to be shown later on. Tien then leads off on his randomly decided apon quest for revenge. He makes it to the temple or shrine or wherever this guy happens to be living and who is there dancing for him? Why it's the grown up version of the little girl that young Tien had known (WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!). We are treated to a 10 minute sequence of 2 dances one from the girl and then one directly after of a mysterious man in a mysterious mask whom nobody knows who it *cough TIEN cough* excuse me. The following fight scene is decent but accomplishes nothing. Tien then goes back to his bandit camp which is mysteriously empty only to find soldiers and random masked fighters undoubtably hired by the guy he just attempted to kill. He fights through them like they were nothing eventually being injured and facing off against the masked man who killed his father who turns out to be his teacher / bandit captain who raised him (DUN DUN DUNNNN). Then after he kills him the movie just sort of randomly ends with him being captured... no mention of the girl at this point mind you we just assume she's still alive. It all ends with the loosest of loose tie ins to the first movie claiming that Tien was the sacrificial figure that the Ong Bak was based on, even though I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be Buddah.

*Spoilers End*

The last fight scene of the movie was pretty cool looking standard 50 on 1 "I'm the Juggernaut Bitch" fare. I gotta say one of the coolest parts was his use of various weapons. Tony Jaa is no Jackie Chan when it comes to weapons but it was a nice demonstration. And the use of scenery to add to the choreography was nice in this scene although not on par with the EXTREEEME FIGHT SCENE in Tom Yum Goong. Though I will say this scene in Ong Bak 2 did have the best use of an Elephant as a fighting prop that I"ve seen since well... Tom Yum Goong.

Overall I was only dissapointed to the point that the movie just couldn't live up to what I was hoping and the story wasn't really there. It's always nice to see Tony Jaa wreck someone and as a first attempt at directing it could have been much worse. I want to see Tony Jaa in more movies hopefully teaming back up with the director of the original Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong... that reminds me I still need to see Chocolate.

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New Home for Team Four Star?

Hey guys looks like a dedicated fan of ours has done us a great service and set up a website. Kaiser is currently trying to get in contact with them and we are currently considering making this our possible new home.

So mad props to the person in charge of this site. Check it out all of the episodes and FAQs are up :)

SITE

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Toei strikes again.

Well seems FAQ 2 has been pulled from the new Teamfourstar page. I'm not entirely sure what the course of action we are going to take at this point is but posting on YT doesn't seem like it's going to do us any good right now. I will try to keep everyone updated as best I can even if I can't edit any videos on my computer.


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Rest in Peace

RIP
Patrick Swayze
1952-2009

Movies in Review: Gamer, Halloween 2, 9

Well I had wanted to do a V-log about these but hey when my computer gets hungry it's gotta eat and I guess it just happened to have developed a taste for video files -_-, all things considered sound files would have been much worse (i.e. no DBZ Abridged) but it's still kind of a pain in the ass since I can't really do anything right now except try to devise a way to edit away from my computer or get a new one.

But I digress, I caught a bunch of movies and wanted to give everyone my opinion on them and just really REALLY didn't want to have to type it out cause I'm the kind of lazy bastard that just likes to talk.

I saw way more movies than the one's I am reviewing here but like I said, I'm lazy and I'm sure you've heard how good Inglorious Basterds (FUCK YEAH!!!) and District 9 are if you haven't already seen them yet yourselves. Plus some of the movies I've seen just aren't in most theaters anymore so I feel giving my opinion on Ice Age 3(3D effects looked cool if you liked the other 2 you'll like this one really wasn't alot to it loved Simon Peg's character) The Orphan (Haahahahahahahahaha... so many logical problems with this movie I may actually go into it when it comes out on DVD if I remember to) GI Joe (Went in with absolutely no expectations came out having really enjoyed it if only for the nostalgia as it wasn't really a good film. Still much better than Transformers 2.) and why even bother wasting my time talking about The Perfect Getaway (which if you've forgoten it by now you aren't alone I went and saw it and didn't until this moment as I'm running through a list of movies in my head remember I saw it.) I know I just said I wasn't going to talk about them but I figured if I mention them I should give a quick one sentence synopsis of how I feel.

Now to the meat of the matter, here are my feelings on Gamer, Halloween 2, and 9

Gamer

I love Crank and Crank 2 I'll get that out of the way right now. They were creative funny as hell and packed more action than most movies that I've seen in a long time from an American studio. For those who don't know Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor are the co-directors and co-writers of Crank Crank 2 and Gamer (as well as Pathology *worth a rental* which Erika showed me yesterday oddly enough), and for the most part you can see their flavor in this movie, it just seems a little watered down. That isn't to say there aren't alot of good things in here. I like Gerard Butler as an action hero, 300 and RocknRolla both kicked ass and proove Butler can pull off the Action star. Not that I didn't like him in P.S. I Love you, Ugly Truth or Phantom of the Opera but.. well there's a rule with movies, you have to ask 2 questions: Is Gerard Butler in it? and is he weilding a weapon? If the answers are Yes and No, it's a chick flick. And Micheal C Hall was an awesome villian in this. I really loved the guy in Dexter and hope he has a good career in Hollywood.
As for the movie itself, well it's pretty cookie cutter. The concept has been done before Convicts fight for their freedom the hero is wrongly accused *Cough* Death Race and Running Man among others *Cough*. I'm not aggainst exploring a genre like that, I'm only saying it's been done better and worse. Really that is the downfall of this movie it's medeocre, very middle of the road with only a few things setting it appart from anything else in the action genre. I have to say the only part of this movie I found myself truely truely enjoying was this scene in which Micheal C Hall has lured Gerard Butler back to his lair and commences this creepy marionet like song and dance number with these convicts that are being mind controlled, then mid song they all start fighting Butler and... well it was just an awesome scene and I wouldnt be shocked for a second if that scene was one of the first scenes thought up and any other part of the movie was just built around it. Overall I'd say check this one out at a discount theater or give it a rental when it comes out on DVD, it's worth a watch if you liked Crank but I don't think it's worth full price. Though it may be full price if you ever wanted to see Leonidas break the spine of Peter Petrelli (who in this movie is hillariously named Rick Rape)


Halloween 2

I've said it before I'm not a fan of Rob Zombie's movies but that is mainly because I'm not impressed with American horror movies anymore. They stop being scary when you are rooting for the killer I'm sorry, nobody goes to these kinds of "horror" movies to be scared they go to watch people die, hence: Saw, Friday the 13th, Final Destination etc. are NOT SCARY, you go to these movies to watch nameless faceless bags of meat get gutted, sliced, crushed, electrocuted, burned, drowned, or ground up. You aren't horrified if they die cause you don't care about them and why should you most of them are very stale characters to begin with. I swear the last good American horror movie I saw was Drag Me to Hell and that in itself wasn't entirely scary, but it was good.
Sorry about the tangent I could go on and on about horror movies and it won't change much anyway Halloween 2.
I'll give this to Rob Zombie Halloween 2 is much better than his Halloween 1 and I'm torn between saying that's because he learned a lesson or that it isn't a thing like the original Halloween 2 so I have nothing to bitch about it bastardizing (well maybe not nothing >.>).
I'll get some of the good things out of the way first. The deaths were for the most part grizzly Tyler Mane really looks like he's putting a lot of force into every stab stomp and throw, it just adds to the experience but it doesn't make the movie. I also really actually enjoyed the change to Dr. Loomis in this movie, granted I liked Donald Pleasence's more but I thought this development was interesting even if it lead to a last minute no sense change of heart. I liked the sort of assholish exploitationist he became because it did feel like it was a natural development from where he came from as a character (who looks great for having his skull crushed in the first movie, but that aside).
Like I said the movie didn't really have anything to do with the Halloween 2 of John Carpenter and that is both good and bad. Good because the original Halloween 2 was and still is one of my favorite slasher movies, and bad because this gives Rob Zombie free reign to do what ever he wants in the Halloween universe and... well that isn't for the best. Case in point, he gave Micheal Myers an inner monologue. It wasn't Tyler Mane talking but he still gave Micheal Myers an inner fucking monologue. You don't give someone who is supposed to be a soulless killing machine an inner monologue especially when its embodied by his childhood form, watching Micheal Myers walk around being followed by the spirit of his mother and a kid in a clown costume isn't creepy it's FUCKING RETARDED.
Also you don't show Micheal Myer's face. This may not be as bad as giving him an INNER MONOLOGUE(!!!!) but it still takes away from the fact that he is supposed to be a soulless faceless killing machine who eats dreams and shits out corpses. Essentially in this movie you aren't so much watching Micheal Myers killing people as you are a 7 foot tall Hobo (complete with burly beard and over coat) who's voices in his head are telling him he is Micheal Myers.
On that note why is it that so many stupid rednecks in the movie antagonize the 7 foot tall 300 lbs hobo? I mean I'm no coward but I know there are better things to do with my time that try to get in a fight with a 7 foot tall homeless man.
As for the movie itself it wasn't horrible, it wasn't great... it was just a very standard slasher movie. Nothing really special about it outside of the name Halloween if this were any other movie with any other masked killer with no name or franchise behind it this movie would have been long since forgotten by now. I did see this movie twice once the midnight it premierd when I was working and again with Erika and I have to say if you are set on seeing this movie see it with a friend because it is so much more enjoyable when you can Riff on it with someone. A few of the scenes had way too many jump cuts way too quickly like to the point that I couldn't even tell what was happening or who was being killed or how for that matter. It's like I said though, if not for the franchise and if not for the name Rob Zombie this movie would be very nondescript and easily forgotten, if you are a fan of Halloween and you haven't seen this one yet, well I'd reccomend a discount theater price or waiting for a rental but definitely see it with a friend or 2 if you are going to.


9

I have to say not since War have I seen a movie trailer where I just looked at it and said "YES" but then when the day came for me to see the movie I was severely let down. But where as War failed me because I was hyped for Jet Li and Jason Statham kicking some ass and ultimately fighting eachother and it just turned out so poorly put together, 9 hooked me with the trailer and just dissapointed me with it's utter medeocrity. The world was interesting, the plot was good (if PREDICTABO), the animation was well done, but what was missing? The Characters, I don't know what it was I couldn't find a way to care about any of them. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why I didn't care about them I mean the characters were a little bland yes but they had personalities. Maybe it was the fact that none of them had names and were only identified by number makes them even less human than they already are, cause the voice acting was fine. I don't know. It really just takes me out of a movie when I can't relate to or feel for any character it just makes a movie boring. If you have no sympathy for someone in the film when they lose a friend (let alone a bunch of em ZOMG SPOILERS) I tend to believe it's more a problem with the movie.
Not to mention it was such a dark movie, and I don't mean that because so many characters die, I mean that it is so dimly lit, if you go to see this movie in the mid afternoon on a sunny day, sit through the entire hour 20 mins of it then go right back outside you may go blind my retinas had a really hard time adjusting on the otherside if you go from outside on a bright sunny day to inside that theater mid movie you can't see the damn screen. I don't think there is a single day shot in that thing which is odd cause it looks like the film took place over the period of a little more or less than 2 days (epic I know).
If you only have enough time or money to see one film this fall don't bother with 9 just wait a while for it to hit TV I'm sure nothing will be edited from it and there are just so many better movies that are out and coming out..
LIKE ONG BAK 2 COMING TO US THEATERS OCT 23!!

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Meanwhile

While I figure some things out, enjoy this randomness / mini review of The Final Destination (not worth paying to see IMO unless you really want to see noname actors die) Everyone say Hello to Spnkyhappy again :)



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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Alright guys here's the problem I've been having recently which may explain the reason I have been lacking content

My PC has served me well and we've been through alot together... unfortunately my outdated companion here has decided to take it upon itself to devour every little video file I try to make any longer than what seems to be 4 minutes long, and mind you this is with any program I try to edit with I became so desperate I even tried using Windows Movie Maker which even compared to Pinnacle is a step down.

I'm doing my best but I can't tell you how much of a Moral killer it is to edit through a scene of something after writing and recording it only to have my computer say "NOM NOM NOM mmmm tasty but needs more lols"

I'm trying to shop around for a new one looking for the best one I can afford and luckily my birthday is coming up in a few weeks but I'll still be hard pressed to scrape together the cash I need. I'll keep you guys updated from here but expect alot more text than usual rather than video until I can get this sorted out.

Peace,

Lanipator




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