Great review Lani. Sorry about you having to sit through that. I sat through the first one and the third. I... I couldn't imagine watching all 5... Wow, just wow... But it's over now. Cheers.
You certainly reminded me why i hate this movie series. I am sorry you had to sit through that bs, but revel in the fact that it is over. Well, until the author needs another payday.
What?! That fight scene was only a premonition?! You are right sir! Absolute bullshit! And here I thought there was potential in seeing this movie. I haven't seen the others but was willing to give this one a chance. Thank you for preventing me from wasting my money. I should've known. I read the book. Bella has a mental "shield" as her special vampiric power and used it, and I quote, "like a cape rippling behind me as I walked over to Aro protecting everyone else left behind." Ugh, what a drama queen. So sorry you had to go through this. Heads up, you might want to hold onto that shot glass a little while longer, I heard rumors of a potential spin off of these movies. Yikes.
I wasn't trying to think of a movie that had a lot of decapitations. I was trying to think of a movie that had MORE decapitations. And seriously it's kinda hard outside of a few grind house flicks.
Actually all those decapitations don't count because they were in a dream :p lol. But if you need your fix on extreme violence, try Mortal Kombat. Awesome fast combat and even a story mode with a story MILES better than this haha lol
three movies ....three movies of her bitching and complaining....and they made her a vampire....she can never die now Lani! She did everything she could to endanger everyone one around her ...complain about having to get older...and they gave into her....this movie is Bella's reward...she wont die...it proved that complaining and whining gets you what you want....yeah ...my hero >=/
Watch "The Wish" from Buffy The Vampire Slayer and tell me you can't have all (well most) your main characters get killed, undo it and still have it be satisfying. Or the Stargate: SG-1 episode "There but for the Grace of God" which kills off literally every star of the show.
Or watch Marvel/DC: After Hours on youtube.
Difference is in Twilight no one did anything to undo it, while in those cases a main character does something to undo it. Twilight it was all just a dream.
Book wise, Werewolves can turn off the aging process so long as there are vampires around. It was some genetic crap. Jacob was around 15 in the first book (I know, insane right?). The werewolf genes speed up the age process to make them men, and then shut off. This only comes into play when vampires are nearby.
No one really cares though, so lets pretend Jacob died eventually.
If you go see The Host when it comes out, don't worry. It isn't as awful as Twilight.
It's going to be considerably worse. You thought Twilight was bad? Just wait, The Host will blow your fucking mind and do with Twilight couldn't.
Out of curiosity I actually tried to get my mother to read it. She got a few chapters in before she came back and returned it to me. Her words were, and I quote, "That shit is way too fucking confusing with two people in the one head." Now, if someone has difficulty following what's going on in the book, then the movie is going to be even worse. What's creepy is, that Steph has once again added an older guy looking for nookie from an underage girl in this book too-though it happens towards the end of the book.
I can't wait for this train wreck to stumble drunkenly in through the door to the boos and jeers of the world.
Don't celebrate too soon Lani... The end is not nigh, possibly. http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/entertainmentnewsbuzz/2012/01/twilight-may-continue-after-fifth-film-lions-gate-ceo-says.html
For like 30 seconds, I was looking for part one of the MOV-LOG, and then I remembered that part two is in the name of the movie, and the video isn't in two parts.
You know they will ruin the Host by making a movie of it... I actually liked the Twilight series when I read the books, then I saw the movies...and if that wasn't worse my MOTHER saw the movies and I've hated the fucking series ever since... I love the books though even if it did piss me off that they never had any epic fight in the final book and what not just because the characters weren't as gay and fucking whiney as the movie actors made them out to be. I didn't even mind that the god damn vampires sparkled in the damn sunlight in the books because even that in my head looked better than what they showed on the damn movie screen! And of course they just had to choose the absolute worst cast of people to play Bella, Edward and Jacob(though Jacob I can compromise with because he wasn't as bad as the main 2 people we're supposed to be focused on) ¬_¬ So yeah...as far as I'm concerned the stupid ass movies have no right to be connected to the books whatsoever. Just my opinion...
I've got a twilight parody for you. Just when they're about to live happily ever after Mr. Popo takes the dragonballs and wishes Shenron and Porunga to lay waste to the land the stupid maggots couldn't clean up the mess
Thxs Lani for going to that mess so we don't have too :) and making not watching it enjoyable because wow just wow poor you. I laugh so hard when you spoke about yelling at the screen ^_____^ lol and I appreciate you doing these and all your other videos :) you make life so much more enjoyable!!
Totally loved your review for this movie Lani :3 I may have loved the books, but seriously... Just fuck these movies... I was happy to see there was going to be a fight in this movie when I saw the previews just because I hated that everything was resolved peacefully in the books even though it should've ended in a damn bloodbath! So yeah...I saw the movie and I was fucking pissed when it got to the fight scene and it turned out it was all just a stupid ass vision Alice was showing that stupid jackass! I would've been so happy to see it actually ending with that fight, even if Carlise and Jasper(Only 2 of the Cullens-other than Alice-that I actually didn't have a problem with when it came to casting)got killed, not to mention those wolves(just cuz my fav animals are wolves and so anything that has to do with killing wolves just pisses me off) just because they would've finally gotten rid of those annoying retarded 'overlord' vampires... *facepalm* Fucking movie was a waste of my damn time just like all the others... You'd think I'd learn to stop ruining books I love by watching the damn movies to them by now...
I actually appreciated the Twilight series. As you say, they weren't amazing, but respectable. Granted, the first one was atrocious and should never be spoken of again, but the others were good and got better with each movie. This last one I thought was really good and even improved upon the book. But of course as we all know this movie/book was written in the mindset of a 17 yr old girl dreaming about the perfect man. Cheesy... yes, Ridiculous... yes. But it is was it is. Despite that fact it happened to appeal to much more than that age group and marketed very well, so there are many redeeming qualities about the series: All the different powers, the personalities, likability of most characters, cinematography, and use of good graphics. But we are all entitled to our own opinions, I have respect that you actually saw it and then voiced an opinion unlike most who just bash the series out of blind prejudice.
I completely agree with Steven Wynn. I did find many aspects of the movie just atrocious but, for what the series is (the fantasy of a child's perfect man), it's as good as it gets. It was meant to be cheesy and have a happy ending because the original audience was teen-based. The whole children need not see things as scary or bad premise is what fueled this. Quite honestly, Bella was my least favorite character. Other than being a whiny brat, her acting was just terrible. Rosalie was one of my favorites, but then she softened up so I didn't like her anymore lol. At least you understood why you didn't like it, instead of being like most people who degrade fairies by calling the vampires in these movies fairies. I mean come on! If they googled what real fairies were before they were watered down they'd understand. But it is nice to see that not everyone who dislikes the series has a one track mind. (Personally, I'm not fond of it myself) lol.
Not sure if it's just me, but it seems like the video and audio are out of synch. I definitely don't want you to go through that again, just letting ya know.
Great review Lani. Sorry about you having to sit through that. I sat through the first one and the third. I... I couldn't imagine watching all 5... Wow, just wow... But it's over now. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteYou certainly reminded me why i hate this movie series. I am sorry you had to sit through that bs, but revel in the fact that it is over. Well, until the author needs another payday.
ReplyDeleteWhat?! That fight scene was only a premonition?! You are right sir! Absolute bullshit! And here I thought there was potential in seeing this movie. I haven't seen the others but was willing to give this one a chance. Thank you for preventing me from wasting my money. I should've known. I read the book. Bella has a mental "shield" as her special vampiric power and used it, and I quote, "like a cape rippling behind me as I walked over to Aro protecting everyone else left behind." Ugh, what a drama queen. So sorry you had to go through this. Heads up, you might want to hold onto that shot glass a little while longer, I heard rumors of a potential spin off of these movies. Yikes.
ReplyDelete"BULLSHIT" had better take off across the internet.
ReplyDeleteYep.
Don't be that happy, Lani. They're discussing spin-offs.
ReplyDeleteLANI- doing my little monkey dance
ReplyDeleteme- hahaha .... now do the reviews in vegeta voice
lani- but I..
me- DO IT!!!
Seriously, Lani? You can't think of another movie that has a lot of decapitations? Highlander is sad now.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't trying to think of a movie that had a lot of decapitations. I was trying to think of a movie that had MORE decapitations. And seriously it's kinda hard outside of a few grind house flicks.
DeleteActually all those decapitations don't count because they were in a dream :p lol. But if you need your fix on extreme violence, try Mortal Kombat. Awesome fast combat and even a story mode with a story MILES better than this haha lol
DeleteMaster of the Flying Guillotine with sparklepires.
ReplyDeleteyou should write a book!
ReplyDeleteWell, I am working on this fake moon thing.
DeleteLani, that reminds me of the male twin in Re code veronica, that why i loved his character
ReplyDeletethree movies ....three movies of her bitching and complaining....and they made her a vampire....she can never die now Lani! She did everything she could to endanger everyone one around her ...complain about having to get older...and they gave into her....this movie is Bella's reward...she wont die...it proved that complaining and whining gets you what you want....yeah ...my hero >=/
ReplyDeleteWatch "The Wish" from Buffy The Vampire Slayer and tell me you can't have all (well most) your main characters get killed, undo it and still have it be satisfying. Or the Stargate: SG-1 episode "There but for the Grace of God" which kills off literally every star of the show.
ReplyDeleteOr watch Marvel/DC: After Hours on youtube.
Difference is in Twilight no one did anything to undo it, while in those cases a main character does something to undo it. Twilight it was all just a dream.
And while so many people were lined up to see this garbage I went to see Lincoln, where I actually enjoyed my experience.
ReplyDeleteBook wise, Werewolves can turn off the aging process so long as there are vampires around. It was some genetic crap. Jacob was around 15 in the first book (I know, insane right?). The werewolf genes speed up the age process to make them men, and then shut off. This only comes into play when vampires are nearby.
ReplyDeleteNo one really cares though, so lets pretend Jacob died eventually.
If you go see The Host when it comes out, don't worry. It isn't as awful as Twilight.
It's going to be considerably worse. You thought Twilight was bad? Just wait, The Host will blow your fucking mind and do with Twilight couldn't.
DeleteOut of curiosity I actually tried to get my mother to read it. She got a few chapters in before she came back and returned it to me. Her words were, and I quote, "That shit is way too fucking confusing with two people in the one head." Now, if someone has difficulty following what's going on in the book, then the movie is going to be even worse. What's creepy is, that Steph has once again added an older guy looking for nookie from an underage girl in this book too-though it happens towards the end of the book.
I can't wait for this train wreck to stumble drunkenly in through the door to the boos and jeers of the world.
We have the same mouse! :D
ReplyDeleteDon't celebrate too soon Lani... The end is not nigh, possibly. http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/entertainmentnewsbuzz/2012/01/twilight-may-continue-after-fifth-film-lions-gate-ceo-says.html
ReplyDeleteThere aren't even any real werewolves in it all! They're all Native American Shape-shifters! D<
ReplyDeletewhy do you put yourself through this pain i don't get it
ReplyDeleteFor like 30 seconds, I was looking for part one of the MOV-LOG, and then I remembered that part two is in the name of the movie, and the video isn't in two parts.
ReplyDeleteHated all the Twilight films, but I LOVED reading the Host. But that's just me. Hopefully they don't make the movie look terrible...
ReplyDeleteYou know they will ruin the Host by making a movie of it... I actually liked the Twilight series when I read the books, then I saw the movies...and if that wasn't worse my MOTHER saw the movies and I've hated the fucking series ever since... I love the books though even if it did piss me off that they never had any epic fight in the final book and what not just because the characters weren't as gay and fucking whiney as the movie actors made them out to be. I didn't even mind that the god damn vampires sparkled in the damn sunlight in the books because even that in my head looked better than what they showed on the damn movie screen! And of course they just had to choose the absolute worst cast of people to play Bella, Edward and Jacob(though Jacob I can compromise with because he wasn't as bad as the main 2 people we're supposed to be focused on) ¬_¬ So yeah...as far as I'm concerned the stupid ass movies have no right to be connected to the books whatsoever. Just my opinion...
DeleteLegendary pictures is making a Godzilla movie in 2013...something to look forward to.
ReplyDeleteWerewolf crossed with a vampire? Don't be giving them any ideas
ReplyDeleteI've got a twilight parody for you. Just when they're about to live happily ever after Mr. Popo takes the dragonballs and wishes Shenron and Porunga to lay waste to the land the stupid maggots couldn't clean up the mess
ReplyDeleteI would pay all of my hard-earned money to see that XD
DeleteThxs Lani for going to that mess so we don't have too :) and making not watching it enjoyable because wow just wow poor you. I laugh so hard when you spoke about yelling at the screen ^_____^ lol and I appreciate you doing these and all your other videos :) you make life so much more enjoyable!!
ReplyDeleteI had to watch the review a second time to laugh at it... mainly because you're a fucking heretic man.
ReplyDeleteTHAT IS NOT HOW YOU DRINK JAMESONS!
Totally loved your review for this movie Lani :3 I may have loved the books, but seriously... Just fuck these movies... I was happy to see there was going to be a fight in this movie when I saw the previews just because I hated that everything was resolved peacefully in the books even though it should've ended in a damn bloodbath! So yeah...I saw the movie and I was fucking pissed when it got to the fight scene and it turned out it was all just a stupid ass vision Alice was showing that stupid jackass! I would've been so happy to see it actually ending with that fight, even if Carlise and Jasper(Only 2 of the Cullens-other than Alice-that I actually didn't have a problem with when it came to casting)got killed, not to mention those wolves(just cuz my fav animals are wolves and so anything that has to do with killing wolves just pisses me off) just because they would've finally gotten rid of those annoying retarded 'overlord' vampires... *facepalm* Fucking movie was a waste of my damn time just like all the others... You'd think I'd learn to stop ruining books I love by watching the damn movies to them by now...
ReplyDeleteI actually appreciated the Twilight series. As you say, they weren't amazing, but respectable. Granted, the first one was atrocious and should never be spoken of again, but the others were good and got better with each movie. This last one I thought was really good and even improved upon the book. But of course as we all know this movie/book was written in the mindset of a 17 yr old girl dreaming about the perfect man. Cheesy... yes, Ridiculous... yes. But it is was it is. Despite that fact it happened to appeal to much more than that age group and marketed very well, so there are many redeeming qualities about the series: All the different powers, the personalities, likability of most characters, cinematography, and use of good graphics. But we are all entitled to our own opinions, I have respect that you actually saw it and then voiced an opinion unlike most who just bash the series out of blind prejudice.
ReplyDeleteyou poor poor man
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with Steven Wynn. I did find many aspects of the movie just atrocious but, for what the series is (the fantasy of a child's perfect man), it's as good as it gets. It was meant to be cheesy and have a happy ending because the original audience was teen-based. The whole children need not see things as scary or bad premise is what fueled this. Quite honestly, Bella was my least favorite character. Other than being a whiny brat, her acting was just terrible. Rosalie was one of my favorites, but then she softened up so I didn't like her anymore lol. At least you understood why you didn't like it, instead of being like most people who degrade fairies by calling the vampires in these movies fairies. I mean come on! If they googled what real fairies were before they were watered down they'd understand. But it is nice to see that not everyone who dislikes the series has a one track mind. (Personally, I'm not fond of it myself) lol.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if it's just me, but it seems like the video and audio are out of synch. I definitely don't want you to go through that again, just letting ya know.
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing this i really appreciate your post and its very interesting. keep posting more
ReplyDeletewebsite